Is It Easy Being A Parent For JUST A Few Hours?

I guess it all boils down to a few things...1.Do you love kids?2.Is it your kid that you are parenting?

Oh well,when I was in China,I had my chance of "being a parent" for a few hours.I learnt a few things about parenting while I was there...

See this cute boy here?He's my cousin Jia Jia.He's 7 this year.Kind of reminds me of my younger days.Jia Jia is an active kid,he loves running around,exploring new things and lastly,he can be full of pranks.

There were a few occasions,my uncle told me to take care of him when the of them were not with us.Initially I did have a little challenge in making him stay in sight.Being active and curious,Jia Jia loves to move around.Sometimes I can lose sight of him if I'm shopping.

He can suddenly "disappear" and I had to look for him.I got a little frustrated initially.

BUT...

Come and think of it...wasn't I like that when I was his age?I kinda ignore what the adults said.I would run wild and explore whatever new places that I find interesting.

I wonder how my older cousins felt when they had to look after me during my younger days.I hereby apologise for all the inconvienence caused.Probably God is giving me a taste of handling an active kid.

When I'm in Singapore,I hear young parents nagging their kids "Hey,can you please don't do that?" and "Please lah,I beg you,can you be more well-behaved?".

Whenever I hear that,I always think that these parents don't know how to handle their kids.However,this time round...I was in their position.I was nagging Jia Jia.Of course I didn't use the 2 sentences mentioned above.



I merely told him not to wander around and not to touch the floor with his hands.Apparently my words fell on deaf ears.He continued to do as he wished.My nagging continued.

Oh no,I thought to myself.I seem to be in the same position of the young parents I see in Singapore.But then what can I do?He's not my kid and I can't use my method to discipline him.(But of course that's not a good method to use.)

Are you wondering what's my method?OK,I'll tell you.My method is very simple.I will tell you nicely what not to do.If you continue,I'll issue a warning.If my warning is not heeded,when you get home,you'll get it from me.It's that simple.

But he is not my kid,I can't possibly use this method.I decided to try another method...

I started to try to talk sense to him.Explain to him why he mustn't do this and why he mustn't do that.After the explaination,then I'll tell him the penality if he disobeys.My penality is that I won't bring him out if he disobeys me.

Now,this method really works.On our 2nd outing,he was very obedient.Didn't cause any problems.Wow,that's a new way of doing it.My parents use to cane and slap me when I disobeyed.

But did that help?It didn't.I became more rebellious.I didn't like it when people threaten me.

I think ultimately there's one important thing to understand...Kids are very innocent.There's no such thing as a bad kid.To me,bad kids are "made",not born.All kids are born good.

Kids may be talkative,disobedient and mischievious.It's because they want to have fun.They never have any ill-intentions to cause their parents or teachers to be angry.In fact,they want the approval of their parents and teachers.

The problem is that parents and teachers keep telling them they are bad.And never give them a chance to be good.Like myself for instance...

In primary school,my behaviour was always "Fair","Satisfactory".It was never "Good" or "Very Good".My mum will always say "Can't you be a good boy?Your results may be good,but your behaviour should be good or very good.".

After hearing what she said,I tried my best to be "good".But most of my teachers never gave me a chance.Except Mrs Sylvia Yeo,Mrs Collen Sheares and Mrs Tan(my chinese teacher).These 3 teachers believed in me.They told me I had potential and always offered words of encouragement to me.

Singapore should have more teachers like them.During their lessons,I did try to be "good".And they did tell me that I can be "good".The other teachers told me I was bad,I was naughty and etc...

End result?I became more "bad" and naughty than ever.I would keep disrupting lessons and really give them a hard time.I would get hit by rulers and get canned.But did all these stop me?They didn't.

But I wish to say here that I didn't harbour any ill-intentions towards any of my teachers.I didn't have the intention to cause them anyway problems.I was just talkative and mischievious when I was young that's all.Probably they couldn't accept me back then.

Coming back to my cousin Jia Jia...I think he's much more well behaved than me.He was willing to give my uncle(his dad) and my grandpa leg massage when they came back home.I never did those things when I was a kid.

I would try to find people to play some pranks on.Many of my relatives couldn't stand me back then.If anyone got targeted,God bless them.Hahahaha.But those days are over.I've got past the stage of playing pranks.Though now I play different games.

If you are a parent and your kid is giving you problems,just be patient with him/her.Always try to talk sense before you nag or punish him/her.Make your kid understand why you want him/her to do something and not do another thing.

Nagging will cause you to "lose your power".If you talk in a very serious tone,your kid will know that you really mean business.Usually kids will "stop their nonsense" when being spoken to in a very serious tone.I think that works quite well.Don't need to get angry or frustrated.

Probably God's training me up to be a good parent to my 4 kids.Praise God,He's always "upgrading" me.

Hope you've enjoyed this post.More are coming...