"Love Your Enemies" - Is This Really Necessary?
I've been busy for the past week.For a good reason too,there has been considerable progress on my business.Something to be happy about.The only setback is that I didn't have enough sleep and currently I'm suffering from diahorroea.But this won't stop me from blogging.
Today let's take a look at something which is pretty common to everyone.I'm sure throughout your life,there are people who don't like you.Even if you didn't do anything against them.These people sometimes plot against you or just make life difficult for you.
Question is...How do you respond to all these people?
1.Screw them back?
2.Let things be as they are?
Or 3.try to love them?
I'm not a preacher,even though I'm a Christian.The bible says that we should love our enemies.I felt it was just something "good" and noble to do.Until a few days ago...
After reading Dale Carnegie's "How To Stop Worrying & Start Living",I discovered that there was something deeper to this.According to Dale Carnegie,he said that when you "love your enemies",you are doing yourself a big favour.
Why?
Because you are not consumed by hatred and anger.As a result,you will have better health and live as a happier person.
Well,I do agree with what he says.But I have a different approach to this matter.Personally,I feel that there are different categories of enemies.Some are mild ones,the other ones are more bitter.
You can let the mild ones go and not bother about them.The bitter ones are those that call for your concern.The bitter ones are those who will go all out to "exterminate" you.And in order to survive,you have no choice.Either fight or flight.Can you still love them?
It all depends on your perspective.Let me share mine...I feel that I can love them because I can always gain some experience from dealing with them.Or rather when I get sabotaged,I learn something in the process.
Perhaps there's something that I overlooked and allowed them the chance to sabotage me.It's a good learning experience.But on the other hand,I know that if I don't do something about them,they will get me one day.
I know that there are some people who hold grudges for a very long time.They can remember what people did to them many years ago and not forgive them.Are you one of them?Well,I used to be one of them.
But right now,there's a different approach that I would like to share with you.Because I'm gifted with a good memory,it's tough for me to forget things.I still remember what those people did.But I won't allow those feelings of negativity to dominate me.
Revenge?I don't think it's necessary.
Let me quote myself..."The Best Revenge Is To Totally Cease Contact With That Person."
Now,you may be asking me "What if this person is in my home?Or worse still he or she is my superior at work?"Let me answer your questions...
Let's say if this person is a relative or family member,I'll handle it in this way...
1.Try to make peace first.Be the gentleman first.Be nice to this person first.
If this fails,step 2...
2.Try to get away from this person.Minimize contact.Always try to shy away from negativity.If this fails,then you have no choice...Step 3.
3.Issue a warning.Warn him/her to stop all the nonsense.If not,you'll start your attack.
IMPORTANT:Show that you mean business.Never be a wimp here.These people will try to test you and see whether you really mean business.If you really whack,whack them hard.Then they won't dare to step on you again.
If this person is someone more senior than you,i.e some stupid uncle or aunt,then hint in an indirect way.Say you don't like it when people "fill in the blanks".E.g. "I don't like it when people stab me behind my back.If I happend to discover who this idiot is,I'll make sure he gets it big time from me."
That's what I do.But I don't tell that person upfront like that.I'll say it indirectly.You have to do it indirectly if not they'll say that you are not respecting your elders.Which I think it's a load of crap!
In the first place,an elder should behave like one and gain the respect of his juniors.I never buy the idea that just because someone is my elder,I should be respectful.If that person earns my respect,yes.If not,I can be pretty rude.
Well,that's me.You need not follow my example.
Now let's move on...What if this person is your superior or collegue at your work place?Basically you have 2 choices.Easiest way is to quit.Your other option is to fight.This is where politics and strategy comes in.
Sorry to say so.But when the situation warrants,you need to be tough to survive.Most of the time,you most bitter enemies come from the work place.They show no mercy.The relatives can't deal as much damage to you.
Just wondering...have you ever felt condemned?And you can see it clearly that you are treated as a 2nd or 3rd class citizen.I've been through that many times since young.
So is there a problem with me?Or is there a problem with those people who condemn me?Am I being oversensitive?Or is this really true?
Whatever the reason may be,I've come to realisation that it's useless to get upset.Simple reason...if they didn't mean to condemn you(i.e. misunderstanding),you get upset for nothing.Secondly,if they really condemn you....
There's nothing you can do to make them like you.If you ever do that,then I'm sorry to say that you are giving away your power to them.When you are affected by anyone or any circumstance,you are giving away your own power to that thing which affects you.
You are living your life based on other peoples' perception of you.Just because you are different from others or just because you have set high goals you get condemned.
Are you going to sacrifice your own life's purpose just because someone condemns you?Are you going to give up on your dream just because some idiot says that you are crazy to dream big?
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT LOSERS.Losers are not even worthy of my attention.If they were so great,they won't be condemning people.
Usually condemnation is seen in families.There will always be the popular kid.The one who always wins praises.The one who seems to be the apple of everyone's eyes.Then there's this kid who is condemned.The one whom people try to shoot down.
Just because he has his own mindset and he thinks differently.Maybe he's a little more playful and mischievious,he gets condemned.Unlike the popular kid who is very obedient and respectful.
But should the playful kid get upset just because his relatives condemn him?No,I don't think so.He should simply ignore them.Instead,focus on what he wants to achieve in life.To hell with all those relatives.Those old bastards are going to die earlier than him anyway.
Why would he want to waste his life trying to please them?It's foolishness.
I do feel sad.For a couple of reasons...1.Why should people condemn others who seem different?2.Why do people get so affected by what others think of them?
There are so many wasted talents.So many people who didn't make it just because someone told them they couldn't.Someone told them they are plain crazy to even think big.
If you are in the situations I described,let me assure you this...I've been in all those positions before.You are going to be the WINNER.If you decide to be.No one can stop you,if you want to aim high and think big.
No one can stop you from success.Most importantly:NO ONE CAN CONDEMN YOU.If you don't allow them to do so.You are one unique creation.
Always remember this...God created only ONE YOU.You are God's unique creation.Who has the right to condemn you?When you are perfect in your heavenly Father's eyes?No matter what,God always loves you.
When you focus on God,whatever men say about you is immaterial.
One last thing before I end...
Have you ever heard this phase "You must work hard and prove to them that you are not what they say!Show them you can do it!"
Heard this before??
Hahaha my mum loves to say this.My grandpa loves to say this.My grandma loves to say this.
They all meant well I know.But let me point out something here...there's a small FLAW in this statement.
Let me ask you,why must you prove to those people who condemn you that you are good?
Just to show them?Just to get back some face?
The way I answer my mum and my grandparents is this..."I don't need to prove to anyone that I'm good.I know that I'm good.I don't need to work hard to show them.I work hard only for myself!!!"
Hey,that's the attitude man!
You work hard for yourself.And you work hard for your loved ones.You work hard for those who are concerned about you.You work hard so that one day you can help those who are less fortunate than you.
There are so many good reasons for working hard other than trying to prove losers wrong.
Do you agree with me?
Next time if anyone tries to condemn you,remember this,they are not worth you attention or "proving".Who the hell are they that you need to prove them wrong?
Your existance don't depend on them.You don't need them to survive.You don't need to take revenge.You don't need to get back some face.
YOU ONLY NEED TO SUCCEED IN YOUR ENDEAVOURS.
Before I go,let me leave you with something...
"The Best Revenge Is To Totally Cease Contact With That Person." - Marco The Great
Today let's take a look at something which is pretty common to everyone.I'm sure throughout your life,there are people who don't like you.Even if you didn't do anything against them.These people sometimes plot against you or just make life difficult for you.
Question is...How do you respond to all these people?
1.Screw them back?
2.Let things be as they are?
Or 3.try to love them?
I'm not a preacher,even though I'm a Christian.The bible says that we should love our enemies.I felt it was just something "good" and noble to do.Until a few days ago...
After reading Dale Carnegie's "How To Stop Worrying & Start Living",I discovered that there was something deeper to this.According to Dale Carnegie,he said that when you "love your enemies",you are doing yourself a big favour.
Why?
Because you are not consumed by hatred and anger.As a result,you will have better health and live as a happier person.
Well,I do agree with what he says.But I have a different approach to this matter.Personally,I feel that there are different categories of enemies.Some are mild ones,the other ones are more bitter.
You can let the mild ones go and not bother about them.The bitter ones are those that call for your concern.The bitter ones are those who will go all out to "exterminate" you.And in order to survive,you have no choice.Either fight or flight.Can you still love them?
It all depends on your perspective.Let me share mine...I feel that I can love them because I can always gain some experience from dealing with them.Or rather when I get sabotaged,I learn something in the process.
Perhaps there's something that I overlooked and allowed them the chance to sabotage me.It's a good learning experience.But on the other hand,I know that if I don't do something about them,they will get me one day.
I know that there are some people who hold grudges for a very long time.They can remember what people did to them many years ago and not forgive them.Are you one of them?Well,I used to be one of them.
But right now,there's a different approach that I would like to share with you.Because I'm gifted with a good memory,it's tough for me to forget things.I still remember what those people did.But I won't allow those feelings of negativity to dominate me.
Revenge?I don't think it's necessary.
Let me quote myself..."The Best Revenge Is To Totally Cease Contact With That Person."
Now,you may be asking me "What if this person is in my home?Or worse still he or she is my superior at work?"Let me answer your questions...
Let's say if this person is a relative or family member,I'll handle it in this way...
1.Try to make peace first.Be the gentleman first.Be nice to this person first.
If this fails,step 2...
2.Try to get away from this person.Minimize contact.Always try to shy away from negativity.If this fails,then you have no choice...Step 3.
3.Issue a warning.Warn him/her to stop all the nonsense.If not,you'll start your attack.
IMPORTANT:Show that you mean business.Never be a wimp here.These people will try to test you and see whether you really mean business.If you really whack,whack them hard.Then they won't dare to step on you again.
If this person is someone more senior than you,i.e some stupid uncle or aunt,then hint in an indirect way.Say you don't like it when people "fill in the blanks".E.g. "I don't like it when people stab me behind my back.If I happend to discover who this idiot is,I'll make sure he gets it big time from me."
That's what I do.But I don't tell that person upfront like that.I'll say it indirectly.You have to do it indirectly if not they'll say that you are not respecting your elders.Which I think it's a load of crap!
In the first place,an elder should behave like one and gain the respect of his juniors.I never buy the idea that just because someone is my elder,I should be respectful.If that person earns my respect,yes.If not,I can be pretty rude.
Well,that's me.You need not follow my example.
Now let's move on...What if this person is your superior or collegue at your work place?Basically you have 2 choices.Easiest way is to quit.Your other option is to fight.This is where politics and strategy comes in.
Sorry to say so.But when the situation warrants,you need to be tough to survive.Most of the time,you most bitter enemies come from the work place.They show no mercy.The relatives can't deal as much damage to you.
Just wondering...have you ever felt condemned?And you can see it clearly that you are treated as a 2nd or 3rd class citizen.I've been through that many times since young.
So is there a problem with me?Or is there a problem with those people who condemn me?Am I being oversensitive?Or is this really true?
Whatever the reason may be,I've come to realisation that it's useless to get upset.Simple reason...if they didn't mean to condemn you(i.e. misunderstanding),you get upset for nothing.Secondly,if they really condemn you....
There's nothing you can do to make them like you.If you ever do that,then I'm sorry to say that you are giving away your power to them.When you are affected by anyone or any circumstance,you are giving away your own power to that thing which affects you.
You are living your life based on other peoples' perception of you.Just because you are different from others or just because you have set high goals you get condemned.
Are you going to sacrifice your own life's purpose just because someone condemns you?Are you going to give up on your dream just because some idiot says that you are crazy to dream big?
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT LOSERS.Losers are not even worthy of my attention.If they were so great,they won't be condemning people.
Usually condemnation is seen in families.There will always be the popular kid.The one who always wins praises.The one who seems to be the apple of everyone's eyes.Then there's this kid who is condemned.The one whom people try to shoot down.
Just because he has his own mindset and he thinks differently.Maybe he's a little more playful and mischievious,he gets condemned.Unlike the popular kid who is very obedient and respectful.
But should the playful kid get upset just because his relatives condemn him?No,I don't think so.He should simply ignore them.Instead,focus on what he wants to achieve in life.To hell with all those relatives.Those old bastards are going to die earlier than him anyway.
Why would he want to waste his life trying to please them?It's foolishness.
I do feel sad.For a couple of reasons...1.Why should people condemn others who seem different?2.Why do people get so affected by what others think of them?
There are so many wasted talents.So many people who didn't make it just because someone told them they couldn't.Someone told them they are plain crazy to even think big.
If you are in the situations I described,let me assure you this...I've been in all those positions before.You are going to be the WINNER.If you decide to be.No one can stop you,if you want to aim high and think big.
No one can stop you from success.Most importantly:NO ONE CAN CONDEMN YOU.If you don't allow them to do so.You are one unique creation.
Always remember this...God created only ONE YOU.You are God's unique creation.Who has the right to condemn you?When you are perfect in your heavenly Father's eyes?No matter what,God always loves you.
When you focus on God,whatever men say about you is immaterial.
One last thing before I end...
Have you ever heard this phase "You must work hard and prove to them that you are not what they say!Show them you can do it!"
Heard this before??
Hahaha my mum loves to say this.My grandpa loves to say this.My grandma loves to say this.
They all meant well I know.But let me point out something here...there's a small FLAW in this statement.
Let me ask you,why must you prove to those people who condemn you that you are good?
Just to show them?Just to get back some face?
The way I answer my mum and my grandparents is this..."I don't need to prove to anyone that I'm good.I know that I'm good.I don't need to work hard to show them.I work hard only for myself!!!"
Hey,that's the attitude man!
You work hard for yourself.And you work hard for your loved ones.You work hard for those who are concerned about you.You work hard so that one day you can help those who are less fortunate than you.
There are so many good reasons for working hard other than trying to prove losers wrong.
Do you agree with me?
Next time if anyone tries to condemn you,remember this,they are not worth you attention or "proving".Who the hell are they that you need to prove them wrong?
Your existance don't depend on them.You don't need them to survive.You don't need to take revenge.You don't need to get back some face.
YOU ONLY NEED TO SUCCEED IN YOUR ENDEAVOURS.
Before I go,let me leave you with something...
"The Best Revenge Is To Totally Cease Contact With That Person." - Marco The Great
posted by Marco at 12:07 PM
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