Wednesday, January 07, 2009

ODE To The Mosquito - Marco Becomes The Mosquito

I never knew I could write ODEs.In the first place,I didn't know what's an ODE.Until 21st December 2008.I was told to go out to nature and find something to write about.

Was stung by a mosquito.I decided to write about the mosquito...

ODE To The Mosquito

You are small,yet impactful.

It takes just one bite from you,

To make me scratch all day.

You are persistent.

Your persistence cause you to live your life on the edge.

It takes only one accurate slap to kill you.

Yet you still risk to live.

After this,I was told to replace everything with I instead of you.However,it didn't really make much sense to me.So I edited the whole thing.In certain ways,I was just like the mosquito.Marco The Mosquito?Seemed pathetic.But the situation I was in was really like being a mosquito.Here goes my edited ode...

ODE To Marco

I am quiet,yet impactful.

It takes just one action from me,

To get you thinking all day.

I am persistent.

My persistence causes me to put my heart on the edge.

It takes only one specific outcome to kill my heart.

Yet I still risk to love.

Finally,I have graduated from Leadership Program.It was a big big relief for me.After being a mosquito for more than 3 months,it's time to be me.Back to being myself.No more being a wimp and being a YESMAN.

I watched YESMAN yesterday.It really spoke to me.I was like Jim Carrey in the show.Kept saying yes,because I have to,not because I want to.When you are alone,facing a number of people trying to influence you,it's not easy to say no.

Had a nice dinner with Christopher last night,we discussed about YESMAN.True,that show was so much like what we went through in Leadership Program.He was in a worse position than me.But now,I'm really happy that I have my own life back.I can be me again.The happy,confident and free person that I have always been.

No more bondage.No more "musts".It's all by choice now.No more being the pathetic mosquito anymore.Risking to love?Hahahaha,no pain no gain.Life's a gamble isn't it?Oh well,just go all out and see what happens.

Marco The Mosquito has became Marco The Eagle.Fly high,be free with style.:)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My Leadership Program Journey - How To Settle Disputes & Quarrels

I have disappeared for sometime.Currently taking this Leadership Program,which is really stretchy and stressful.It's an emotional roller coaster,but I believe everything happens for a reason.Until the end,I will not be able to know what is going to happen and why it will happen.

Think it is a good idea to take notes during this journey and understand what went right and what went wrong.OK,this is an idea that came from senior,Jasica.She suggested that I should pen my journey in LP down.

I agree that she made a very good point.My penning down everything,I am able to reflect and go back to what I missed out.

Today's coaching call was about settling disputes and quarrels.My house is constantly under World War.Every few months,there is sure to be a world war going on.Today,I realised that I could use the "Point In View" exercise to solve the problem,instead of getting angry and irritated then flare up.

I will use this method the next time I get the chance.Results will be updated here.5am later I need to go for morning madness.No choice,have to rest early.The rest of the stuff I will finish tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Happy Birthday,Chris!

16th September 2008 is my dear friend Chris' 28th Birthday.Today,the birthday boy is the biggest fuck!He gets to make all the decisions today,ranging from food,to dessert and to whatever time he wants to go home.

We had Seoul Garden buffet for dinner.Unfortunately,I was still suffering from stomach upset.It was probably due to the smoked salmon from O'Brien's Sandwich on Saturday.I suffered for 3 whole days (hopefully it will recover tomorrow).Sunday night,I went for a wedding dinner.Throughout the whole dinner,I was moving to and from the toilet.

It was really terrible.So much nice food and yet I wasn't able to fully enjoy the food.

Anyway,back to today.My stomach was slightly better,I was able to eat some food and didn't need to keep rushing to the toilet like on Sunday.It was a nice dinner,even though I wasn't able to really enjoy the food,I enjoyed the conversation.

We discussed about the beliefs that were holding us back from attracting what we really wanted.There was an interesting pattern.In love relationships,both of us seemed to be the 3rd party in many instances.Those women would complain a lot to us about their relationships and we thought we had a chance to step in.

And we always ended up as the losing party.Of course,I am determined to end this cycle once and for all.Right now,I am very sharp when it comes to looking at women's intentions.I can tell if they are trying to manupilate me or to control me.I shared with Chris what were the signs and symptoms.

If you ever got into the same situation where you were "the shoulder to cry on" when things were going wrong with their boyfriends and "the football to be kicked away" when things are good,you might want to pay attention to the symptoms.

Here is how you test...

When she starts complaining,you start agreeing.Don't say anything first.Let her let off steam.After she finish letting off steam,then you start giving your advice and response.From her reaction to your advice,you will know whether she is really interested in you,or just using you as "a shoulder to cry on".


She: "He's terrible.Always ignores me.Like work is the most important thing.What about me?"

You: "Hmm..."

She: "And you know what?He made me cook for him last night.Then last minute he calls up and says that he has to stay overnight at the office."

You: "Yes,he should have called."

She: "Precisely.I don't know what came over him.He seemed to have changed ever since he started off this job."

You: "Is he always working overnight?"

She: "Yes.And it is always last minute."

Now,here's where the testing part comes.You try to say something bad about him and see how she reacts.

You: "Could he be seeing someone behind your back?"

She: "I don't think so.But you may also be right."

You: "Well,if he was to do that,then I feel that he doesn't deserve such a good girlfriend as you."

She: "No,don't say that,maybe he was just busy that's all."

From this point,you can see that she's being defensive.You can see that she is still defending him.Notice the facial expression and her reaction.Is it unhappy?Defensive?Angry with you?

Basing on the above conversation,the woman is just using the guy as an object to let off steam.The guy may think that he stood a chance because she "shared her problems" with him.The normal reaction is to start putting the boyfriend down,without realising that she was already getting pissed.

The above situation is not one which you would want to get into.Let's look at the other scenario...

If,instead of defending,she starts rambling more and more unhappiness about her boyfriend,probably she's considering breaking up.Then you start probing slowly and asking her whether she's happy in the relationship.If she says something like "if only my boyfriend was like you" then you probably stand a chance.

Other than that,just move on.You don't want to make things more complicated.But anyway,that's just a simple example.If you have been through something like this,you would know what I mean.

I am not telling you to be cold and not lending a listening ear.It is always good to be a nice friend,but never become obessed.If you become obessed,then you end up hurting yourself.Never never be the 3rd party.It doesn't do you any good.

Ok,so that was Chris' and my experience.I hope you gain something from it.Right now,we are planning some scripting and visualising exercises to attract whatever we want in life.Unfortunately,I have already signed up for the leadership course.So no choice,we have to find some time to do it so that we have time to go through everything.

The first thing to do is to identify those negative past beliefs.In order to do that,we are committed to going back to our childhood and writing down all the past experiences which affected us.Then we go through it and discuss.

After this part,we would start to get clear on what we want and manifest things.Sounds easy?But it's a lot of hard work.I'm committed to make this happen.I'll update you as and when I start progressing.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What Level Is Your Thinking At?

A happy 2008 to you.I had other posts to write about,but this thing came to my mind on the 3rd day of 2008.I think it is more appropiate for me to share my thoughts about a new perspective that I came to realize.

Probably by the end of this post,you will be able to know what level is your thinking at.It is very true that as you grow older,you become wiser and calmer.When you are younger,you tend to be more rash and hot-headed.You tend to rush into things which may not be for your highest good,and regret later.

I am speaking from my own experience.I used to be very hot-headed and rash.I tend to do things or say things at the spur of the moment.Just because my emotions had the better of me.I wasn't able to control my temper.

But as time went by,I learnt that you can't "expose" yourself too much,if not,your enemies will be able to know your weak points and exploit them.So don't fall into this trap.If you want to get angry,make sure it is for a good reason.In certain cases,you have to blow your top to get your point across to some idiots.

Alright,enough of introduction.Let me move on to today's main topic,and what inspired me to share these thoughts...

On the 3rd day of 2008,my brother and I were walking home from Mustafa Center.I had to go there to buy something.On the way home,he asked me for my opinion...

His girlfriend's dad's birthday celebration was coming up soon.His girlfriend's family asked him to join them.He agreed,but was wondering should be foot the bill for the food.

My answer was that if he felt good giving them a treat,he should by all means do it.I always believe that you should do it if you feel good about it.However,my brother disagreed.He said that his girlfriend's family might feel that he was trying to show off that he was rich.

I disagreed.My point was that if he wanted to give them a treat,he should do it without bothering about how they think about him.As long as you want to bless someone,then just do it,why bother thinking about what they think about you?If they want to think bad,it is their problem,you have already done your part.

He disagreed with my point.He reminded me about a visitor we had last year.This guy was my uncle's friend from Australia.This guy bought some crystals as gifts for us.However,we didn't have any use and didn't know how to appreciate the crystals.

They weren't cheap too.

One of my aunts tried to tell him that he shouldn't waste money buying us something that we have no use for.Instead,he should just buy us something useful and cheaper.We knew that he wasn't that well off and we didn't want him to spend too much on us.

He seemed offended by my aunt's statement.He replied,"Don't tell me what to buy.I just want to buy something for you people.Just accept it!".

He didn't get my aunt's point.He just literally "forced" his gifts down us.My aunt was trying to tell him to buy something more practical,something which we would appreciate more.Maybe food.

So my brother's point was that I sounded like this Aussie visitor.I disagreed.I feel that it was a different scenario.

But after some discussion,we both reached the same conclusion.

There are people in this world who can't accept gifts from others.They are poor receivers.And at the same time,they feel that it is spiritual to be poor.They detest rich and abundant people.I felt that probably his girlfriend's family fell into this category.

I can honestly say that one of my ex-girlfriend's family was like that.They seem to detest rich folks.I have nothing against poor people.But they are indeed poor.From the response of my ex-girlfriend,I knew that they commented behind my back that I was some spoiled rich brat.

Well,I admit that I am rich and abundant.But I am not spolied as they put it.But poor people always try to view rich people negatively.That's why they are poor forever,until they change their mindset.They can't attract prosperity until they change their mindset.

But it is not wrong to want to be poor.Neither is it wrong to want to be rich and abundant.

Now,I'm coming to my main topic...

What level is your thinking at?I realised that people who think maturedly are able to accept other peoples' differences.While those who are less matured can't accept others.They always feel that they are right.Anything different from them are all aliens.

Ever came across people like this?

It doesn't matter what age they are.Old people can think like this,young people can think like this.

I classify people into different categories based on their thinking...

The lowest class are those who cannot accept others' differences.They tend to gossip and talk behind people who are different from them.They like to force everyone to think their way or do things their way.These people are also easily affected by what people think of them.

They have very low self-esteem.These are the Level 1s.

The next class will not talk about others if they are not affected.They don't care what the world thinks about them.They just do what they believe to be right.But if they are crossed,they lash out mercilessly.

They don't like it when people comment about them negatively.They always lash back when someone says something about them.In a way,they have low self-esteem because they are very defensive.They want to prove themselves and they care very much if others comment about them.

These are the Level 2s.

Now,the Level 3s are those who are not affected even if others talk about them.If others comment about them negatively,they just ignore the comments.Basically they don't care much about what others say because they are very confident of themselves.

These people have a healthy ego.They are not easily affected by what others say.When asked about why they don't respond to the negative comments,they will tell you that people at their level don't bother with the low levels.

These folks do their own things and mind their own businesses.They will not mix around with people who they think are lower than them.Some people will have the impression that they are arrogant.

Quite a number of successful individuals belong to this level.

Let's look at the highest level...

Those that belong to this highest level are able to accept everyone for who they are.These people really practice walking in love towards everyone.They are very willing to accept and forgive those who have done wrong to them.

They are very patient people and seldom blow their tops.They are willing to accept others' faults and will not criticize behind people's backs.These folks are also very quiet.They tend to listen more than they talk.

Most of them gives the impression that they are very cool and calm,in which they are.You will never see them throwing tempers or holding grudges.

Basing on my observation,those who belong to this level are usually monks,or people who have reached a very high spiritual level.Some priests or pastors are like that.These people are also deep thinkers and very wise.

But the main characteristic is that they are willing to accept everyone for who they are.

Which level are you at?Which level do you want to be at?

It is your call.I wish you all the best in 2008.You might want to move yourself up to the next level.I wish you success.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

How To Propel Yourself To Greater Success

I have been meaning to post here for a long long time.This post has actually been in my mind for at least 2 months.

I believe priority is very important when you want to become successful.I apologise if you have been expecting posts and none came up.I had to prioritise my time for my website and other things.

But anyway,Merry Christmas to you.I hope you are able to gain something from this post...

Many years back,I felt like a failure.I didn't know what I wanted to be,I didn't have any goals or sense of direction in life.I was very afraid of failing,but I didn't know how can I "play to win and not play not to lose".

"You will never amount to anything great!"

"You are a failure.Can't you do something right for a change?"

"You are always getting us into trouble somehow."

"One day,you will end up sweeping the floor and dumping rubbish."

"I don't know what you want to become next time."

"I fear for your future."

"Reality and goals are different.Don't count on your luck."

"Why aim so high?You just need to be contented in life."

Does all that sound familiar to you?I always hear that.Especially when I was a kid and during my school days.Did all these affect me?Yes.I was so fearful that all those so-called prophecies will come true.

What if I really became a failure in life?What will happend to me?I was really fearful,but yet I didn't know how I could make myself successful.I felt very lost.Yet no one can guide me or tell me what I could do.No one encouraged me.

The reality was...I was really a failure once upon a time.I used to do badly in school.When I was in Polytechnic,I kept failing programming and I didn't really do well in my studies.In secondary school,I didn't get into biology class as my parents wanted me to get into.

In secondary school,one teacher kept condemning me.She was very biased when she marked my test and exam papers.I felt really frustrated,but I wanted to prove to her that I was good.For the whole of secondary 2,I was marked down by her for my science papers.

When I wasn't able to get into biology class,I got hell from my parents.Of course,they meant well.I can't blame them for screwing me for mediocre results.But in the processing of screwing me,they made my self-esteem fall like a rock.

After that streaming,I felt that I wasn't able to do as well as others.Others seemed to have the luck but I didn't.Those tops students were really lucky and I wasn't.They were successes and I was a failure.

Even in Polytechnic,it felt the same.I wasn't able to do programming well,that's why I repeated 1 year.But it all boiled down to me feeling like a failure.

Was I really a failure?

If you asked me that question 10 years ago,I would have told you yes.Am I a failure now?

Nope,I would answer you quickly.I am still on my way to success,enjoying the journey towards success.

Now,how did I change my mindset?

As you probably know,everything starts from a thought."Thought become things".This quote must be quite familiar to you if you read self-help books.

Whatever you think at this moment will have an impact in your life sometime in the future.Whether its the near future or distant future,I can't tell you.But your thoughts will have an impact on your life.

Think like a failure,you will become one.Think like a winner,you will become one.Think like a billionaire,you can become one too.

So how can you think like a winner?

Let me share with you a method of programming your mind to propel yourself to greater success...

It is very very simple.You just need to be disciplined enough to do it daily.

How do you feel like a successful person?You just need to celebrate your successes,whether big or small.Do it daily,especially with the small successes,and slowly,you will have the confidence to undertake bigger projects which lead to bigger successes.

Let me give you an example of a small success.Let's say you are trying to get a birthday present for a friend.After looking high and low,you finally found something that is suitable and you buy it.That's considered a small success,you managed to at least buy a birthday present for your friend.

Celebrate that success.Congradulate yourself,give yourself a pat on the back.

Do the same for bigger projects.But for bigger projects,break them up into smaller parts.For successful completion of each part,celebrate the success.

Very soon,you will feel like a successful person.You will have the confidence to tackle bigger problems.You will start feeling that you are in control.When you start feeling in control,you can turn your life around,from failure to success.

It all starts with your thoughts.Choose the good thoughts.If you can't,celebrate your small successes,and you will be able to think positively and choose good thoughts.

Keep doing this daily,I'm sure you will become a big success.You are already on your way to success.

I will try to do one more post before the year ends.Stay tuned.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

There Is No Such Thing As Failure

Have you ever failed?I believe each one of us have failed one time or another at something in life.I have.But I don't believe in failure.

Nothing or no one can block us to success but ourselves.You have more control of your life than what you thought.You can choose to be a success or a failure.Yes,only you.

What does failure really mean to me?To me,failure means giving up and not trying again.When you do that you can forget about being successful.But at times it's wise to give up than to waste your resources on something that won't work out.

What happends when you fail at something?It simply means that you didn't do it the correct way to get your desired results.What you should do is to keep trying different approaches to solve the problem.

True enough,from time to time you will get demoralised when things don't work your way.But never give up.Keep going until you reach your desired outcome.

Mental toughness is essential here.You need to keep telling yourself not to give up.

Many years ago,I allowed circumstances to dictate my fate.Whenever things don't work my way,I will panic and finally give up.As a result,many things were left half done.

Thanks to what I learnt from Napoleon Hill about Persistance.When you keep persisting,somehow things will start to turn in your favour.However,you should have more than 1 plan,so that if it doesn't work out,you can still fall on others.

It feels good to go all out to achieve what you want.The best reward is the sense of satisfaction when you succeed.

My website is not doing very well.But I refuse to give up on it.There is always something to be done to improve the situation.You just need to keep looking and thinking of the solution.

But there are also certain things that I give up easily.I will only persist in things which I am confident that will work out.I don't waste time on things which I need to gamble on.

In particular,the area of women.If I show interest in a woman and she does not respond,I'll simply give up and move on to the next one.I had been stupid once.I wasted a lot of time and effort on one target and things still didn't work out.I should have given up early to cut losses.

This is like investing in stocks.In certain times,you need to sell at a loss to cut losses.Similarly if you try going after a woman and she is not interested in you,why waste you time?Move on to the next one.After all it's her loss,not yours.The world is so abundant,you are sure to find what you want.

You cut losses because you lose time.You time should be invested in people who are worth it.You time should be invested in activities that will further add value to you as a person.That could be learning a new skill.Never waste time on things that don't add value to you.

I used to.But I don't now.

In business as well,you must know when to give up and call it a day.Rather than further increasing your loss in time and money.In "The Tipping Point",Seth Godin shares when exactly you should give up.

It is stupid to give up too early.But it's equally stupid to not give up when you know that you are reaching a dead end.

I wish you success.In the next post,I will share with you how you can propel yourself to success and keep your mental attitude positive most of the time.So stay tuned till then.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Surviving In A Herd Where There Is Condemnation

I just came back from my in-camp training.It was an exhausting experience.Not because training was was far from tough.As a cyberwarrior,my role is to assist the commanders is playing war simulation games.

Why am I exhausted?

I'm exhausted from the negative energy from the people there.Of course,to say everyone is like that is very unfair.There are a handful of nice people there,especially the full time staff and 3 new friends that I made there.

What is today's topic about?

In short,it's about how you survive in a negative enviroment.If you are like me,you probably understand what I mean.When you are surrounded by negative people,your positive attitude will somehow be affected by them.

There are a few types of negative enviroments.One is where people like to complain.Two is where people like to gossip,backstab and comdemn others.

If you know me well,you probably know that I hate backstabbers and people who are fake.Now,how can you survive when you are surrounded by these people?

I think there is ONE CRUCIAL THING you must possess...that is MENTAL TOUGHNESS.

Why mental toughness?

When you have mental toughness,you will not be affected by the backstabbing and the gossip.You will just take them as a bunch of fools who have nothing better to do.

Whenever you are different,the herd will keep "pressuring you" to be like them.When you are not like them,they "condemn you".Question is,can you be condemned?Or rather,will you be affected by their condemnation?

It is human nature to have the desire to be accepted by people.But it is insane to have the desire to be accepted by a bunch of losers.Why would you want to seek approval from a bunch of losers?

In order to seek approval from them,you "try" to be like them?

You?A loser?

Think about it...

You know what?My advice is to stand your ground.Be who you are.Let the losers say whatever they want.You may feel uncomfortable.But that's ok.You are human after all.That is where mental toughness comes in.Can you survive condemnation?

I realised a few things about losers...Losers love to gossip about those who are different from them.They love to see people getting into trouble.They love to poke their noses into affairs that don't even concern them.They condemn others so that they feel superior.

I hope you are not one of them.

Hey,thank God.I only go for in-camp once per year.Only get to see the losers once per year.Luckily not everyday.

The next tip for survival is to pretend to like them and try to mix around with them.That's really tough for me.I'm a straightforward person.I hate acting.If you can do that,I really salute you.Because I can't.

By pretending to be like them,they will accept you and not condemn you.Because you are like one of them.

There is one guy whom I salute.Salute meaning I salute him for his ability to act blur.But I look down upon him.He's just a loser in other aspects.But he's a winner in acting.He can pretend till you don't know what he is up to.

He looks very dignified and gentle.But probe deeper and observe longer,you will be able to see his true colors.Initially I was taken in by his innocence,but after a while,I can see the fox's tail sticking out.

He's smart.There's actually a lot to learn from him.He keeps a low profile and will never reveal much about himself.He'll make you talk while he listens.When you ask him questions,he will keep evading them.

So if you want to survive,be like him.

There's another guy,who is pretty straightforward and sincere.There's only one setback.He gives the impression that he is a slacker.After observing him for some time,I realised that he's a lousy worker.But makes a very good friend.

He is sincere and direct.Doesn't pretend and condemn like the other losers.But he's the target of the herd.He is always getting condemned and they always make sarcastic remarks about him.

Yes,this brings me to the next point.You got to learn to be sarcastic.This is to defend yourself.Once losers know that you are more sarcastic than them,they won't try to be funny with you.

So how to be sarcastic?OK,before I go on,please use the following information to defend yourself only.Don't use it the wrong way,please.Never use it as an offense.

In order to be sarcastic,you mind has to work fast.You have to know how to respond to your opponent.You have to be cool and calm.When the attack comes,do not get angry.I repeat,never never get angry.

Keep you mind cool and calm,then start thinking of how to respond.Be like the politicians.They are very good with this.They think before they speak.Similarly,you should do the same.If you have nothing to say,do say anything.

Wait for the chance to strike.Wait for them to fall before you whack them.

If you have a good memory,try to remember one or two incidents where they screwed up and use the incidents as ammunition to fire back.Usually,these losers will try to catch you screwing up and make comments about you.

Once you have enough ammunition,you can hit back.Find out their moments of embarrasment and hit them hard with it.After hitting them,smile and tell them you are just joking.Tell them don't take it too hard.

After a while,they won't dare to try their nonsense on you.Trust me,it works.

But you really must strike at the right time.Don't strike for the sake of striking.Never allow anger to blur your thinking.Never.When you screw them,screw them back HARD.

Before I end,I would like to leave you with this...

"Treat your allies and friends super-well,and crush your enemies!"

If you have given them a chance and they still want to harm you,crush them!!!