16th September 2008 is my dear friend Chris' 28th Birthday.Today,the birthday boy is the biggest fuck!He gets to make all the decisions today,ranging from food,to dessert and to whatever time he wants to go home.
We had Seoul Garden buffet for dinner.Unfortunately,I was still suffering from stomach upset.It was probably due to the smoked salmon from O'Brien's Sandwich on Saturday.I suffered for 3 whole days (hopefully it will recover tomorrow).Sunday night,I went for a wedding dinner.Throughout the whole dinner,I was moving to and from the toilet.
It was really terrible.So much nice food and yet I wasn't able to fully enjoy the food.
Anyway,back to today.My stomach was slightly better,I was able to eat some food and didn't need to keep rushing to the toilet like on Sunday.It was a nice dinner,even though I wasn't able to really enjoy the food,I enjoyed the conversation.
We discussed about the beliefs that were holding us back from attracting what we really wanted.There was an interesting pattern.In love relationships,both of us seemed to be the 3rd party in many instances.Those women would complain a lot to us about their relationships and we thought we had a chance to step in.
And we always ended up as the losing party.Of course,I am determined to end this cycle once and for all.Right now,I am very sharp when it comes to looking at women's intentions.I can tell if they are trying to manupilate me or to control me.I shared with Chris what were the signs and symptoms.
If you ever got into the same situation where you were "the shoulder to cry on" when things were going wrong with their boyfriends and "the football to be kicked away" when things are good,you might want to pay attention to the symptoms.
Here is how you test...
When she starts complaining,you start agreeing.Don't say anything first.Let her let off steam.After she finish letting off steam,then you start giving your advice and response.From her reaction to your advice,you will know whether she is really interested in you,or just using you as "a shoulder to cry on".
Example.
She: "He's terrible.Always ignores me.Like work is the most important thing.What about me?"
You: "Hmm..."
She: "And you know what?He made me cook for him last night.Then last minute he calls up and says that he has to stay overnight at the office."
You: "Yes,he should have called."
She: "Precisely.I don't know what came over him.He seemed to have changed ever since he started off this job."
You: "Is he always working overnight?"
She: "Yes.And it is always last minute."
Now,here's where the testing part comes.You try to say something bad about him and see how she reacts.
You: "Could he be seeing someone behind your back?"
She: "I don't think so.But you may also be right."
You: "Well,if he was to do that,then I feel that he doesn't deserve such a good girlfriend as you."
She: "No,don't say that,maybe he was just busy that's all."
From this point,you can see that she's being defensive.You can see that she is still defending him.Notice the facial expression and her reaction.Is it unhappy?Defensive?Angry with you?
Basing on the above conversation,the woman is just using the guy as an object to let off steam.The guy may think that he stood a chance because she "shared her problems" with him.The normal reaction is to start putting the boyfriend down,without realising that she was already getting pissed.
The above situation is not one which you would want to get into.Let's look at the other scenario...
If,instead of defending,she starts rambling more and more unhappiness about her boyfriend,probably she's considering breaking up.Then you start probing slowly and asking her whether she's happy in the relationship.If she says something like "if only my boyfriend was like you" then you probably stand a chance.
Other than that,just move on.You don't want to make things more complicated.But anyway,that's just a simple example.If you have been through something like this,you would know what I mean.
I am not telling you to be cold and not lending a listening ear.It is always good to be a nice friend,but never become obessed.If you become obessed,then you end up hurting yourself.Never never be the 3rd party.It doesn't do you any good.
Ok,so that was Chris' and my experience.I hope you gain something from it.Right now,we are planning some scripting and visualising exercises to attract whatever we want in life.Unfortunately,I have already signed up for the leadership course.So no choice,we have to find some time to do it so that we have time to go through everything.
The first thing to do is to identify those negative past beliefs.In order to do that,we are committed to going back to our childhood and writing down all the past experiences which affected us.Then we go through it and discuss.
After this part,we would start to get clear on what we want and manifest things.Sounds easy?But it's a lot of hard work.I'm committed to make this happen.I'll update you as and when I start progressing.
